The year that wasnt.

Sometimes your mind enters a state of limbo trapped in a state which incapacitates your thinking powers and forces you into action you otherwise wouldn't have approved of or makes you fall into a situation to take decisions you shouldn't have taken otherwise.
I seem to have stayed in this state for far too long, longer than the time needed to self-destruct a brilliant plan.
I do not know whether this fate or sheer lack of action/impetus, but this has changed how I used to think about myself and my career before 2010 and after 2010.

Well on the whole life had been good, had a nice time on some amazing travels, nice time with mom and dad and bro. Pretty much normal and amazing.
But what disturbing is the effect it had on my outlook, my goals.
Sometimes crap just happens.... You cant control it as such, it is destiny. But there are certain conditions in which crap happens repeatedly. I had a terrible domino effect this year 2010.
The year started on a good note, very enthusiastic about what all big plans I had for my career. And then came a series of bad decisions, ego hassles, random seizures in activity.
I chose to go by the public opinion of the local pseudo-geeks and realised some basic lessons the hard way.
"I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone."

Moving on, the misery doesnt end with learning lessons. Your deeds follow you everywhere, rather they are two steps ahead of you warning people about you even before you arrive.
Bereft of some happiness due to sheer fate, or sometimes by choice, and some times by mistake, hurts like hell. I am not scared of accepting rejection, just recording in this post.

There are lots of lessons to be learnt in life, and one doesn't need to be hassled with pitfalls. Sometimes you lose out on certain things you perceive as happiness because it is actually not happiness. Such points in time mark the change in definition of happiness.

I shall always be in the pursuit of happiness, like all others on this planet. I shall always be a dreamer like some on this planet. But I am still not very sure of what I shall strive to achieve like none on this planet. (<-- pretty much the reason of my frustration with this year)

Happy New Year 2011, may you be unaffected by any limbo-causing stimulus.
Jai Shri Krishna